


Had Any Good Chucks Lately?

by ProseApothecary



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: But still doing the intricate rituals, Established Relationship, Games, I Am Sorry, M/M, More just being mean about celebrities, Objectifying celebrities? Sorta?, Weird Sex Jokes About Chuck Lorre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProseApothecary/pseuds/ProseApothecary
Summary: “Ok,” Beverly says, leaning across the couch to nudge Eddie. “Tina Fey. Glenn Howerton. And Richie.”Richie, on the other side of Eddie, loudly announces, “I hate this game.”“Fuck Glenn,” Eddie says. “He just looks like he has personal hygiene. And marry Tina, obviously.”“Oh no!” says Bev in faux-surprise. “Looks like you’ll have to kill Richie.”“I have an idea,” Richie says. “Why don’t you askmeone?”“Because,” Bev says. “You always want to fuck and marry Eddie. That’s not how it works.”“I can assure you,” Richie says, “that is definitely how it wo-”“Ok,” Eddie says, going pink. “Next one.”
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 128





	Had Any Good Chucks Lately?

“Ok,” Beverly says, leaning across the couch to nudge Eddie. “Tina Fey. Glenn Howerton. And Richie.”

Richie, on the other side of Eddie, loudly announces, “I hate this game.”

“Fuck Glenn,” Eddie says. “He just looks like he has personal hygiene. And marry Tina, obviously.”

“Oh no!” says Bev in faux-surprise. “Looks like you’ll have to kill Richie.”

“I have an idea,” Richie says. “Why don’t you ask _me_ one?”

“Because,” Bev says. “You always want to fuck and marry Eddie. That’s not how it works.”

“I can assure you,” Richie says, “that is definitely how it wo-”

“Ok,” Eddie says, going pink. “Next one.”

“Amy Schumer. Chuck Lorre. And Richie.”

“Come on,” Richie says. “That’s just mean.”

“I laughed at the Big Bang Theory once,” Eddie says thoughtfully. “After I’d taken 4 Benadryl on a plane.”

“Narrowly beating out the number of times you’ve laughed at Richie’s stand-up, so-”

“Fuck Chuck,” Eddie says. “Marry Amy.”

“That’s it,” Richie says, picking up his phone. “I’m challenging all of these comedians to a duel. Pistols at dawn.”

Eddie lunges for his phone. “Do not drag me into your Twitter feuds.”

Richie stands up, holding his phone to the ceiling while Eddie grapples for it.

“Admit you find me sexier than Chuck Lorre.”

Eddie glares at him, standing on his tiptoes, reaching for his phone, flush with Richie.

“Should I leave?” Bev asks. “Is this foreplay?”

“Yes,” says Richie as Eddie vehemently says “ _No_.”

“Fine,” Eddie scowls. “You’re marginally more fuckable than the inventor of _Bazinga.”_

Richie gapes, chucking his phone back onto the couch. “ _Eddie_. Stop talking about how much you want to fuck me. Beverley’s _right there_.”

“Oh my God,” Eddie says matter-of-factly. “I’m going to kill you.”

“You can’t,” Richie says. “We literally just established that you’re going to fuck me. Has anyone ever told you you’re really bad at this game?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and sits back down on the couch just as Beverley stands up.

He looks at her questioningly.

“I’m not a voyeur,” she says.

“Christ,” Eddie says. “Nothing is going to happen.”

“Use protection,” Bev says to Eddie. “Or don’t. Richie’s pretty tragic, he’s probably saved himself for you.”

“Beverly,” Richie says. “I thought we were friends.”

“I don’t know what gave you that impression,” Beverly says as she grabs her bag.

“Bev,” Eddie says. “Have I ever told you that you’re my favourite?”

Beverly cocks an eyebrow at him, then turns to Richie. “Eddie thinks you’re funnier than Mulaney.”

Richie gapes and turns to Eddie, who, in turn, is glaring at Beverly.

“Bye, Bev!” Richie says happily as she walks out. “Wow,” he says, curling up next to Eddie. “She comes in, wreaks destruction, and leaves.”

Eddie does not respond.

Richie tries to kiss him, Eddie tilting his head away a little each time so they just land on his cheek. “C’mon Eds. Just let me get one smooch.”

Eddie turns his head to face the other way.

“I’ll let you call me Chuck.”

He’s promptly bombarded with cushions.

 _Success_.


End file.
